we've got a jabber, people.

there's a lot i wish i could say to the nun right now.
none of it is nice.
all of it is crass.

but here's my defense: the nun does not know the power of positive reinforcement.
it's Teaching 101, and all good educators know that positive reinforcement works. it's our mantra for crying out loud.
the self-professed educator advisor of mine, however, knows only one method (with me): snide, passive aggressive jabs.
the nun is a jabber. a fuckin' jabber.

the nun made me do it

that's my new motto.
the nun made me do it.

just because i wanna say it.
just because i need a glass of red both before and after meeting with her.
just because it's easier to blame her than to fix me.

whoa, too personal.

the nun made me do it.

kind of like butterflies in my stomach, but not.

am meeting with my advisor tomorrow.
she wants to "take a walk, if the weather is nice."
what the hell does that mean?!
and more importantly, WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!

i shall hold my own, you will hold your own damn it.
i shall hold my own.

*can't my therapist hold me while i'm on this "walk"?

stingy for no good reason

during yesterday's session with my therapist i had a revelation, and it is this:
my advisor gives me compliments like the candy man hands out toothbrushes.
never, not even in my dreams.

power through the tube

my friends saw my advisor on the news, and they were scared.
they could feel her harsh ima-tear-you-down-to-build-you-up ways.

this makes me feel better.
i am normal, she is not.

her version of motivation:

my advisor recently told me that i either meet this deadline or "go to hell."
my advisor is a Catholic nun.

last thing i need is a woman of God sentencing me to hell.